Weight on Your Shoulders

Sometimes the weight on your shoulders seem so much to bear, but others look at you as someone that has it all together. The thing is they don’t know what you go through. They don’t see the different people you deal with. They don’t see that you have to determine who to get on and who to give space. They don’t see that you have to thank some people more than you do others in order to get the best out of them. If they aren’t in your shoes, their frame of reference is slanted. They don’t see that some people will do what you expect them to do, while others need you to lay everything out for them.

When you go to watch a concert and the crowd is going crazy, you feel like it you are at one of the best shows you’ve ever been to. You think that ‘wow, it would be great to be musician’ because it looks so extraordinary and the crowd is going crazy for you. What you don’t see is that there are weeks and weeks of practice and frustration to get everyone not always on the same page, but close enough to make everyone content. People get yelled at and those that don’t cut it are let go like an afterthought. You can watch the show and think that all the transitions were great, the pyrotechnics were awesome, and the singers are having fun. So to you, it was a tremendous show as the singers, dancers, and band leave to thunderous applause. You know what’s going on though………someone in the band missed their cue and was off, but you can’t tell. One of the dancers jumped in one second too late. One of the singers didn’t hit the high note the right way or didn’t hold it for two more seconds longer than they should have. The smoke from the pyrotechnics should of cleared up sooner. The concert started 15 minutes later than it should have and it throws off the event staff a bit because now they will get home later than expected. You can take this example and associate it with dancing groups, a Broadway play, sports, etc……. Those watching on the outside only have a small perspective on what’s going on, but make interpretations based on those small perspectives. This is sometimes when I watch or read reviews, I think to myself, these fools are idiots. Not a good example, but just to make a point- how can the McDonald’s drive thru employee give a bad review for acting in a war movie where there were some stupid lines. When you are in a war and you have to watch each other’s back with bullets flying by, sometimes stupid likes or phrases help you get through the day. It helps you keep that human connection in a high stress situation.  Haven’t we all been in those awkward quiet moments with friends and you feel like you have to say something and all that comes out …… “How’s the weather going to be tomorrow?” even though you don’t really care about the weather?

The thing is your point of view is always going to be skewed. You won’t recognize the little imperfections that the actual people doing the job know, see, and feel. Just realize that the people you think have it all together, they don’t always do. They just know how to organize it and have a somewhat poker face to survive. You aren’t with them 24-7 because with most people after they clock out for the day, they are a totally different person. A person in the office is a different person at the bar.  So, just because people tend to be quiet, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have things that they are dealing with. Some people like to lay out all their shit to everyone. If it doesn’t concern you and I don’t really think you care, why would I do that. The weight on some people’s shoulders are things you don’t always see. Don’t assume those that seem to have it together do have it together ‘cause the second they walk out that door, they could either scream or breathe a sigh of relief that they made it as far as they did.